Mich and Gang

"Mich and gang"- This is what I will put in my calendar for every gathering that we planned. I have just added another entry into my calendar. Sean has suggested a gathering this Sunday for the sake of the kids. Tessa was happy ( and surprised) that she is allowed to play the last weekend before her exams.

At the hospital, it seems like everyone is trying to move on. Kristy told me about her plans to help with the kids on weekdays when Sean goes for his jog. Michelle's mum is not ready to let go yet but she is already talking about Sean should remarry for the sake of the kids and hopes that their stepmother will not ill-treat the children. I am thinking about how to make sure Shyan gets into Nanqiao next year as I know this is one of Michelle's big concerns.

Michelle,

Can you see and hear all these? Is this what you want us to do for you? Are we missing out on anything? Will you be surprising us in the next few days by waking up to say hi and prove all the doctors wrong? One of the girls said you may wake up and ask me to stop buying bags. I wish I can hear you say that. Be strong and fight off the infection, we will be there for you.

Praying For a Miracle

Michelle's brain scan results were not good today. I am not ready to accept this is God's plan for her. I still have the little hope in me that God will use his miraculous touch on her, just like the sunday school stories that I tell my N2 class, and she will suddenly wake up and be her old usual self again. This has been a real test of my faith and I have spent the whole day convincing myself that He knows best. I have to force myself to focus on what she has been blessed with - supportive family, beautiful children, good maid, good colleagues and many good friends. It is not easy. I do not think my faith will waver if this is happening to me but it is just harder to accept when it is happening to a good friend.

Michelle

I hope you have enjoyed our chit chats in the last few days. I have more gossips to share with you and I still need your help to recall the title of the movie that made us real "humbao"s in JC. Diane n Jin Hoe sent their warmest regards today and Huimin will be visiting you tomorrow. I am sure you liked Shyan and Tessa's singing on the tape, interrupted by their heavy breathing! It is heartwarming to see so many visitors at the hospital in the last 7 days. It shows that you and Sean have touched so many people in your life. Whatever happens, we will be there for Sean and your family. U don't have to worry ok?

Michelle

This is my first blog and I am dedicating it to my friend Michelle. I knew Mich in AJC, where we both had the best time of our lives. She had "maggi mee" hair then and she loved to laugh at my crush on Lothar Matthaus. We both love french fries. She likes it with a lot of salt n pepper n chilli while I like it with a lot of salt.We were dancing and dating more than studying then but we both "woke up" before A levels and did well enough to move on to University. She went to Science in NUS while I went to Business in NTU. I certainly did not expect our friendship to remain strong till today. We did silly part time jobs together ( corporate surveys where we learnt how to handle people banging phone on us) during uni days. Her wildest days were during the time I worked in Hong Kong. Even then, we kept in touch and she had to help me dump an old boyfriend after I came back. That scene at NTU still remains clearly in my mind. I was a dumb romantic that had to be dragged away by her. I also remember that day in national library when we sat on the floor and had a long chat, where she shared in detail on her real feelings after her recent breakup. She seem so cool on the surface that I did not realised that she was hurt badly if not for that chat in the library. I remember feeling guilty for not being there for her but our bond certainly strengthened again after that.

I also remember Sean. I was quite against the idea of her dating him as he seem like a "beng" who was not serious about her. I did not expect him to be the responsible man he is today and I am certainly glad that Michelle ignored my bias then.

I snapped at Mich once before. I was pregnant n busy at work n she called to ask about some trivial things. I felt very guilty about my actions and apologised to her after that. I remember it was during that conversation that I asked her to be Tessa's Godma. She not only accepted but also gave me the privilege to be her daughter's god ma 3 years later.

Fast forward to today, she is lying in the hospital bed now. She has been in a coma since Tuesday due to a blood clot in her brain. We are now both mothers of 2 young children. We have a usual gang of 5 families with young kids that meet up almost weekly to exercise and gossip. The last session was on Monday but I did not join as I was doing my holiday duty at work. I am jealous of everyone who had a chance to spend time with her on Monday. I long to hear her laughter and her nagging at my obsession with bags. I want to tell her I went crazy again n got myself an Hermes. I can imagine her glare and her "i give up on you" look. I want to see how excited she gets when I discover new cheap and nice stores for kids clothes. We are suppose to be back at Cotton On checking out their supplies after our sunday badminton session. We are suppose to be going to watch Hossan Leong together on 2 Oct. Now, everything seems meaningless. I am praying very hard for a miracle. I am encouraged by the faith of her closely knit family. I felt happy that she has accepted Christ but I am a greedy child of God. I want more. I want her to be healed and to be part of our group again. Lord, please grant me my wish.